If you have read my previous entries then you know that I do not pull any punches. I have a message for you. A message of hope. I don't mean a distant shot at recovery, I mean an absolute reality that this illness we are fighting is not a life sentence with no possibility for parole.
I have been living with PTSD since August of 1970. Just so happens that is the very beginning of my life. My father was a Vietnam Vet, a law enforcement officer, and in my eyes a mountain of a man. He died December 30, 1995 of a self inflicted gunshot wound. I have mentioned that before and as terrible as that sounds, its just the tip of the iceberg. I did not mention that my fathers untreated PTSD and the turmoil that was caused by it in our home while I was growing up, claimed another victim. In November of 1983, my mother after 15 years of enduring unbelievable mental and physical abuse at the hands of my father, took her own life in our garage. I came home from school to discover her. Let me tell you something, it was not a banner day in my life. Somebody owed me an explanation. I received a partial explanation in 2003 with my PTSD diagnoses.
After 39 years of fighting this illness I had a conversation with a recovered (yes I said recovered) victim of PTSD. She is not a combat Veteran but that makes no difference. When I say that makes no difference, I am absolutely convinced that her PTSD is the same PTSD I struggle with. It is the same PTSD my father struggled with and it is the same PTSD you struggle with. That may be a big concept to grasp, but take a minute and get comfortable with it.
This person I spoke with has endeavored to undergo just about every conceivable treatment plan for PTSD. The list of treatment she rattled off to me was comprehensive to put it mildly. It was a list of failures however. She did enlighten me to the technique that worked. The science behind it is fact. No argument, no doubt hard science. The key is to want it. You have to want to get better. No more whining and crying or blame games. If you want to be sick that is your choice. If you want to get better then there is hope. I did not say it would be easy, but can you tell me that living with PTSD is easy? Don't even try it! I don't have all the facts to start listing a road map to health. I will be getting that map prepared for you. In the meantime I would ask you to make the decision to commit to a plan for recovery.
I am not a doctor or therapist, I am a Vet trying not to die from an illness that has claimed my family. So when I tell you I believe in this very talented woman and her story of recovery, I am nothing but serious about it. I intend on being a leader in the field of helping Veterans survive PTSD and live to see joy in their lives again. My intention for this post was to be brief and just say "Hey guys guess what I just heard". As I thought of what to say to you I felt compelled to give a little more perspective on my situation to let you know how important this mission is for me. Get ready, I am going to bring great news and much more than a glimmer of hope for recovery.
OperationPTSD
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Wow, what a post! And I so completely agree with you about the role of desire in healing. If we don't want to be well -- if we don't commit to it with everything we've got -- we will never find recovery.
ReplyDeleteActually, that idea played a very large role in my own healing journey. When I stopped blaming and feeling like a victim and looking outside myself for healing everything turned around. I discovered I was strong enough to fight this thing and the simple fact of my wanting it and using that desire to focus made all the difference.
Such an important concept and one that in the PTSD rage and fog we tend to forget.